blindfolded

in a way life has us all swinging blindly. we miss as often as we hit, and sometimes even when we find the treasure, we sit disappointed after the excitement has passed. 

our lives are full of party games, most of them bring both laughter and tears.

simplicity

in this moment i miss simplicity. i miss sunshine, shadows, and soccer balls. i miss trusting that someone else is taking care of business, keeping me safe, protecting my happiness. 

and so i add to tomorrow's to-do list: SIMPLIFY 

but how? 

feeling grateful

life is precious. we say it all the time, but to feel it, to truly feel it, that is a gift in itself. this morning i felt it, 
i really felt it and in this moment i feel full. 

i feel grateful.

memories

four nights, 8 children, 8 adults, turkey day, hot tubbing, pool table, board games, and food, lots and lots of food. together we found a home away from home, together we escaped for a few precious days, 

together we sculpted some great memories.

holidays

holidays are exhausting; filled with to-do lists, have-tos, and shoulds. but most of us, we love them. we love them even though they wear us thin, even though they stretch us to our outer limits. maybe that's part of why we love them. they become proof that not only can we get a lot done in a short amount of time, but we can feel proud of what we've accomplished. after the mess has been cleaned, and the memories have been made, 
we can look back and smile .

blue skies

i've been noticing the sky a lot lately. the color has me smiling, fills me with overwhelming joy, makes me really appreciate being here, being able to play beneath it's beauty.

our growing family

i'm losing it, losing the urge to do it all over again. my girls are big now, they are meeting new needs; fulfilling wishes i never knew i had. we played soccer as a family this morning, then i took the girls ice skating. they were free, they were excited, they were self-sufficient. that sweet baby cuteness i look back on is losing it's appeal, i'm starting to just enjoy looking, remembering, treasuring, and then going to sleep at night knowing that i have other responsibilities now, new things to be proud of.

feet

someday their feet might be bigger than mine. 

i hope that someday they are more travelled than mine. 

i hope that they walk in many shoes, and explore many paths.

i hope that they get lots of foot rubs and tickles.

i hope that they know how to give and receive a pedicure.

i hope that their feet carry their weight with pride, 
and that they shed the unnecessary layers as they grow and change.

hilltown souls meet the sea

my girls love the ocean, but it's not love at first sight. 

their hilltown souls take a little time to warm up to its power and its mystery. 

at first fear, then curiosity, by the time they get a toe in the water the intensity is rising, and out comes a shriek of delight and uncertainty. it doesn't take long before the magic captures them, and suddenly they are begging for more.

girls

little girls love their bodies. 
led by their popping bellies, they parade around, their toddler rolls tempting you to pinch and giggle. 
and then they grow, they change, they cover, but hopefully they retain their confidence. 
hopefully they ignore the supposed to bes and shoulds. 
ideally they pride themselves in health an wellness, not pants size and bra cup. 

arousing the senses

simple pleasures alert our senses. here in new england they are constantly changing: snowflakes falling softly on the tongue, muddy rain puddles between your toes, a splash of cool water on hot sweaty skin, and today the crunch of autumn leaves crumbling between babies fingers.

my girl

book inscription written to my girl, valentine's day 2011: 

"trust that in all change you will eventually find magic and light. love mom and dad"

birth junkie

i'm still in a state birth euphoria after spending the day with a woman who birthed her 11lb 9oz baby against so many odds. i am inspired; inspired to keep doing what i love, inspired to push harder for the things i believe in, and inspired to trust the process and believe in the higher good. i think i'm a birth junkie...

the perfect boarding house

a warm, safe, gentle resting spot. i can only imagine how magical it must be inside the womb. 
who can blame the babies who want to hang out just a little longer? 

perspective

every choice is a good choice, it's all a matter of perspective. so own it, love it, learn from it. 
life is too short and precious for regret. 

buried treasure

it doesn't seem to matter how tired i was all day or how much i was looking forward to an early bedtime, because when the end of the day comes (kids in bed) and peace settles into my house, the last thing i would ever do is give that up for sleep. it would be like walking away from buried treasure. 

feeling the art

sometimes it's the messiest moments that bring the biggest smiles. there's something about body paint that drives my kids wild. perhaps it's the wet, slippery touch or the 'breaking the rules' excitement. whatever it is, they crave it, they look forward to it, they sparkle in it.

the perfect combination

in radiant light a wooly bear inspires curiosity. sweet baby touch meets strong skilled hands and magic appears. 

a treasure of a lady

she was family, she was friend, she was a painter, an observer, a traveller, a dancer... she was beautiful and she will be forever loved. i am so grateful to have known her, and i look forward to hearing more stories about her.

who are you?

imagine having the opportunity to re-introduce yourself to the world as 'who you are' not 'what you do.' we can define ourselves by the work we produce, the gatherings we host, the ideas we share, but who are we? when we're walking through the woods alone, or sitting by the stream just listening, who are we? how many of the people you know and love have a true sense of who you are? can you sit silently together at peace? 

mixed messages

our children grow and change so quickly, but sometimes it feels like we'll never make it through to the next stage. we simultaneously want them to "grow up" or "get over it" and to "stay little forever." such big shoes they have to fill with all the wanting and mixed messaging from the adults who mentor them. 

our baba

life with baba is full of mystery, passion, and adventure. around every corner sparkling light, under every rock a hidden treasure, and with every falling snowflake a world of magic. he captures the energy that surrounds us and manipulates it to brighten our world.

big box grocery stores

are our consumer choices frying our brain cells? i felt like i was losing my mind in the grocery store today: 75 salad dressing choices, 15 different deli hams, 30 dried pasta varieties... do we really need this many choices? are all these options sucking away our ability to take what's available and make it work. in our grass is always greener culture are we being constantly deceived into thinking that if one option doesn't work we can just buy the next one? not to mention, the waste, so much waste in all that option, waste of time, waste of food, waste of resources. if i thought about it long enough i bet i could connect all of our culture's suffering to the big box grocery store.