middle ground

i'm finding my place in the open spaces, sometimes i settle into a beautiful niche and for a few moments i feel at home, i feel complete. then suddenly a shift and i am floundering, swimming in a pool of bigger fish and searching for a comfortable resting spot. what i'm really looking for is the middle ground.

organized chaos

the reality of my crash landing with a new business is settling in. my kids are feeling it, they've had me virtually all to themselves their entire lives. as i power through to fulfill my own passion i feel torn, i have to trust that when the dust settles a little, this change will be rewarding for us all. i feel in some ways like the mother to a new infant, falling asleep at night telling myself i'll do better tomorrow, sending them to school vowing that i will be more available when they come home. my heart and my mind know how to handle all this organized chaos but in the moments it's easier said than done.

a fine line

some of us strive to be more than is possible, some of us don't reach far enough. the balancing game of pushing far enough without spreading yourself too thin is a life long lesson, one which i am intimately exploring these days.

goosebumps

this is what inspires me. this is what send chills through my body, the kind of chills that escape as tiny volcanoes of energy at the surface of my skin. on this second wave of my journey, i cannot be stopped; there are too many beautiful babies to be peacefully welcomed into the world.

twists and turns

a bump in the road is a lesson to learn from. i've hit my first bump in the website design world; i'm not sure about the lesson yet, but i'm hoping that this ride will lead me to a truly beautiful resting spot.

ready, set, go...

i feel vulnerable and exposed. i haven't changed but bits and pieces of my inner fullness are emerging, emerging for the world, for the women who haven't met their babies, for the siblings who have endless hours of companionship in their future, for the grandparents who never imagined they could love another baby the way they so deeply loved their own. i am entering a new profession, i am ready to make a difference, one woman at a time.

riding the wave

life is pretty bright lately. i know from past experience that if i cram as much as i can into this burst of energy and motivation it'll pay off down the road; the more i can fit in, the more i'll have in reserve for the next less cheerful wave. 

a brainstorm

the ideas are floating around like blossoms in a gust of wind; they are beautiful, they are free and i have no idea where they will land.

the path is opening again

i want to be a midwife... in this moment i can feel it bubbling and bursting from within. i feel unstoppable, i feel powerful, i feel so alive.

returning to the process

in every moment, someone, somewhere is gifted with the process of birth. in every moment, beautiful, beautiful babies are born into loving arms. i look forward to meeting my fair share of them in the coming years.

a morning off duty

crafting: it's good for the soul :)

as summer slips away

on this beautiful fall day i'm already looking back and wishing for another stretch of summer. did i eat enough ice cream? attend enough fairs? grill enough meat? soak up enough sun to last the next 9 months? only time will tell...

nearing the end

a beautiful woman is saying goodbye. a strong woman is exerting her most powerful force. a skilled teacher is imparting a life long lesson. a dear friend and neighbor is sharing her deepest kindness. and for all these reasons, i send my deepest gratitude and well wishes rolling through the hills of our precious landscape.

finding my way

isn't it always that finding peace in yourself is the hardest part. every day i practice, i try to let go of one more stumbling block. i am so grateful for every opportunity to test my inner tranquility; i am especially grateful for the people who let me into their lives in a way that facilitates my self discovery.

finding peace

tonight i send love, and light, and strength out into the universe for all who need it;  perhaps this will be my new nightly ritual.

school

a mixed bag of tricks

aging gracefully

we grow and change with such grace; in fluid motion we unveil layer after layer until the day that we die. as we move through this life do we leave behind bits of ourself on our path, or do we carry it all, like our inner infancy and innocence, with us? aging is non optional, but what we decide to do along the way determines how gracefully we become elders.

sensory overload

the magic of a fair is within it's sensory overload; the colors, the smells, the sounds, they overwhelm and excite. like i spy, spotting a familiar face can send ripples of joy throughout your body. on the other hand, making it through unnoticed can be a game in and of itself, there is pleasure in being just another face in the crowd, just a piece of some bigger chaos.

my happy place

i seem to have collided with a burst of energy; a happy place where coffee buzz, sunshine, bubbly children, inspiring friends, supportive family, beautiful town, and life's unexpected treasures all meet. in that place i feel motivated, fortunate, inspired...

the gift of a happy child

there is a groove, a place where things feel right. when we find that place, every bite of dinner is a treasure in my mouth, every "mom" music to my ears, and the goodnight kisses are like drops of gold rippling through my body.

the road ahead

the world is at their fingertips, their path wide open, but for now monkey bars and tie shoes 

an unconventional teacher

another rainy day, another rough start. she is powerful today. i will choose to be her student. i will choose to let her teach me, teach me to forgive, teach me to be in the moment, and remind me not to hold her accountable for past behavior.

rain, rain...

we cannot will the rain to stop, but we can splash in it's puddles

another school year begins

i am proud to send my sweet babes out into the great big world. i am excited about their sponge like ability to absorb new information, even of the questionable social sort.  i am confident that they will make good choices, most of the time. i am grateful that they are being led by respected members of our community, even the ones whose choices are different than mine. my children are a part of a beautiful village.

too much stuff

i feel caged by consumerism. without a constant desire to thin and organize my belongings, what would i do with my time? read more? create more? volunteer more? exercise, advocate, play, relax...

a closing season

it's hard to believe summer is ending. the hot and heavy air is deceiving; the calendar has been flipped to september, school is starting, local corn and tomato crops are being replaced by peaches and apples. on this day i long for an extended summer.

a force to be reckoned with

she is on a mission. for me, the hardest part is that she seems to be her own commander-in-chief and her refusal to confer with the other officers is blinding her path.

bright and precious babes

there are some children who shed a particularly beautiful light in this world. with confidence seemingly too big for their little bodies they bounce from one space to the next spreading little bits of curiosity, adventure and awe on their path.

professor yeah

they grow so fast. all at their own pace, but for us, the adults watching it happen, it always feels too fast. on the nights when all we want to do is get a good night's sleep, we think there is no end in sight; and then, when we look back the journey appears suddenly washed away. we wonder where our babies disappeared to.

a sweet start

in a yard full of whip creamed second graders i can't help but watch mine. she's sweet, she's smiling and she's ready for a whole new year...

a new day

today i will pick my battles. i will remember that they are only children, that they look to me for constant guidance and that they are not intentionally driving me crazy. today i will be a better parent, and in doing so i will forgive myself for yesterdays mistakes.