playground days

my playground days are numbered. 

before i know it: they'll be asking for spending money 
instead of under-dogs,

 i'll be watching cars full of teenagers drive away 
instead of strong little arms swinging from monkey bars,  

after school play dates will turn to date nights...

i'm both eagerly awaiting the return of my "freedom"

and anxiously holding on to their snuggly little bodies 
all curled up in my lap and my heart.

the buzz

this beautiful precious world is suckling at our finger tips. 

it tickles, it delights, it excites us if we let it.

so get out there, drink your coffee in the sunshine,
 take you kids to the playground, 
run your toes trough the grass.

let the world infuse you with it's buzz.

a fresh start

my computer crashed and i was forced to take a break, a power nap. 
it encouraged me to step away, count my losses, and make a choice to start fresh. 
now, as i bloom again, i plan on taking things a little slower, 
infusing each step i take with intention and purpose,
caressing the life inside every moment as best i can... 
here we go...

in passing

Perhaps in passing we do not reach the end,

but are given the opportunity to stand atop a peak and look in both directions.

We can look back at the gifts we have been given,

the challenges we have overcome,

and the beauty that surrounded us.

We can look forward into the light, into the mystery

and with the strength of our loved ones deep in our hearts

we can begin our next journey.

where the fairy house lays

it's magic. 

magic in the bits of tree bark, magic in the perfect foundation, 

the glistening stones, the silver moss, 

and most of all the magic lies in the mystery. 

the fairies represent the presence of something more, something mystical, 

something worth believing in.

a staycation

i've been jonsing for a vacation lately. 

wishing to feel the hot carribean sun or explore the intricate details of cultures afar. 

but right here, right in this very place i've been treasuring the gifts that keep giving, 

my kiddos who keep me laughing, keep me thriving, keep me on my toes. 

i've been absorbing the changing weather, 

letting it restore me, letting it fill me, letting it inspire me.

roller girl and her buds

she's fast, so fast. the pic on the top was all i could catch of her. 
but the most beautiful sight was when she slowed down, when she checked in with her friends, took it down a few notches to be with them. 

she's like that. fast and furious, but gentle and kind. 
she can get your fire raging and she can melt your heart to mush. 
she'll do good, she'll find her own sweet path and conquer it.

five

she turned five. she's a girl. we celebrated.

she's my girl, but only in the sense that i have the honor of calling her my daughter. 

we share genetics but her soul, her spirit, i can't claim them, 

i can only treasure them, and treasure them i will.

opening

there's so much happening. in the swirling transitions of life i have all kinds of things to say, all kinds of thoughts to share, but they are so constantly morphing and changing i cannot keep up. if i open wide enough perhaps i can simultaneously soak in all the goodness and release the confusion. this morning when i opened myself up to my children, it felt like we moved mountains. 

playing hooky, and paint

sometimes a day at home is nature's perfect remedy

love stands strong

love was their epidural.

 it came from deep within, 
a place some of us never discover in a lifetime. 
its pillar like strength held them up. 
its perfectly grown roots kept them grounded. 
their emotional intimacy was nearly tangible.
all of these things they will carry for a lifetime.

a mellow winter

off to school.

the weather is mild. the winter gear has been terribly underused, but we're enjoying the sunshine, the carefree hat or no hat mornings. this is the game we new englanders play. peering out the window each morning not knowing what the ground will look like, ready to shovel our way out the front door or skip to school in our sneakers. 
it makes us flexible, it makes us hearty.

a shift

something shifted today. i love when that happens. 

suddenly everything seems more precious, more fluid, more enticing, and unexpectedly life feels easier. 

friendship

friendships comes in many shapes and sizes, each stretching, changing, and sometimes slipping away as we roll through our lives. it's taken me a while but i'm starting to really get it, starting to understand the delicate intricacies of human relationships. i have a long way to go... 
fortunately even the baby steps feel monumental. 

unguilty pleasures

i bought this today. i spent $1.59 of our hard earned money on this perfectly processed package. it's for the ski mountain; it's for the girls; it's my attempt at sharing with them one of the childhood memories that fills me with love. they probably won't like, i probably won't like it either, but it will still serve it's purpose. it will be money well spent. i love it when something simultaneously feels so incredibly wrong and so perfectly right.

with gratitude

this morning my heart feels very full, it's overflowing with abundance. today i will share this joy, i will spread it into my community in the best way that i know how. i will also cherish it, i will humbly thank the sources that fill my life 
and i will move forward.

seeking peace

january finds me at rest. in my modified hibernation i'm letting go, lowering my expectations, slowing down. the rolling changes of new england weather suit my personality quite nicely. in bursts of energy i complete the tasks that cannot be ignored and when the wind shifts i settle into the closest, most comfortable nook and i seek peace. this is, as it seems, my month of rest.

goodness

the work i have chosen connects me so deeply, so intimately to families i hardly know. for the first time in a long time i feel passionate about my place in this world. 
i feel confident and proud to be making a difference, 
as if my very being is rippling goodness into the world.

somewhere in between

managing what once was with what i hope to be has me feeling constricted. hovering between two lifestyles i feel out of control. i can look at the past and appreciate what i have been given and i can see the future and visualize my dreams coming true, 
but here in the middle of two places i feel uneasy, overwhelmed, 
yet quite fortunately... excited.

inside or out?

sometimes confusion has you feeling like an outsider looking in and sometimes confusion has you feeling like an insider looking out. 
either way, it's quite unsettling.