the surrender

the waves they were warm, they were powerful, they kept coming: 
some more powerful than others, 
some knocking you down, 
some making you feel strong and confident. 

every once in a while i found myself caught off guard needing a break, but they kept coming, no relief until i found my way back to shore. 
it was powerful and beautiful and out of my control. 

it's been a long time since i was in labor, 
there's a good chance i'll never find myself in labor again. 
a visit to the ocean periodically is a good reminder, 
a means of understanding the surrender again.

father and daughter

birth

birth.

it calls me:

sings to me in the wee oxytocin filled hours of the night,

whispers my name in the crowds spotted with pregnant bellies,

strengthens my patience in the stretching on-call weeks.

birth.

it suits me:

fits me like a glove,

like the soft sweet arms of my children,

like the strong warm muscles of my life partner.

birth.

it fills me with pure unimaginable delight.

waiting

ever feel anxious?

hoping, wishing, praying that something completely out of your control will happen...

i can feel it.

i can feel how very excited i'll be when it happens.

but i keep waiting:

hoping, wishing, praying

"please, please come"